I haven’t written many essays for this site over the last few weeks. I’ve had some ideas, but I could not bring myself to sit down and compose anything. Mainly because I had to do my taxes. Now, my taxes from start to finish only take me one morning. That’s all. Just one morning, but the process of putting off doing my taxes takes me 2 to 3 weeks and the entire time it’s as though the sword of Damocles is hanging over my head (without any personal power, I might add). Eventually, I always do them. Of course, otherwise I’d be in prison.

During this year’s procrastination, one of my mother’s favorite adages was regularly popping into my head: “Never put off til tomorrow what you can do today, Michael”. I hate that saying. I’m very good at putting off things, not just until tomorrow, but for a long, long time. My mother really liked a lot of those old sayings and wasn’t hesitant about bringing them up at, what I would consider, disadvantageous times. I had a lot of disadvantageous times as a teenager. More than my share, if I’m being honest. My Dad would even come up with one every now and then. Always about chores if my memory is accurate. I really didn’t like old proverbs. So, let’s take a look at a few of those wise old sayings and see who was right – me or my parents.

If you can’t beat em, join em. What a terrible guideline for a young person starting out in life. In other words, don’t stand for anything or have any principles. If it looks like they’re going to win, hurry up and join them. Does that mean I should be a misogynist now?

Knowledge is power. Really? Who’s President?

Laughter is the best medicine. Actually, this proverb is the basis for the Republican health care plan. Laughter is great. Laughter enhances just about every aspect of life. With a migraine or a broken leg, however, a hearty chuckle sort of loses its charm.

Good things come to those who wait. No, they really don’t. But keep waiting.

Cleanliness is next to Godliness. What the hell does this even mean? Do you know anyone (with the obvious exceptions) who wants to be “Godly”? Do you want to be around anyone who wants to be “Godly”? Do you want to be “Godly”? I’m sure there are times that God himself gets a little tired of being “Himly”. Let his hair down a little. However, being clean is really, really, really important. Can’t stress that enough to you overnight campers.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Parents always brought this up to their sons and daughters when they and their girl/boyfriend were going to separate colleges. It wasn’t true then, but the parents were so relieved that these hot and heavy teenage romances were going to wither on the vine that they would have said anything. For older people, if the absence goes for more than 2 weeks, you forget their names. So the effect is the same.

That which doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. Bullshit! No chance. Mental, emotional, physical trauma may not kill you but it sure can weaken you for the next sweep of the scythe. Examples abound.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. This would be a horrible way to live. Imagine your life if those closest to you were people that you disliked and distrusted and who were out to destroy you. “Sorry can’t do anything this weekend, Steve Bannon is coming down to torture kittens on Saturday. I gotta be here” No one wants their enemies close to them. I know the problem – this came from “The Godfather” (no proof that Sun Tzu ever said/wrote it), so it’s almost impossible for a male of my age to find fault with it, but I have to. Maybe if my last name was Corleone, it’d be different. My brother would be Fredo, then. I can live with that. Actually, it works.

This too shall pass. Love it. Succinct. Memorable. A salve for the worst of times. And, best of all, true.

That’s all. This essay is over, but remember – An end is only a beginning in disguise.